There
are three things that I learned about myself this week. The first thing is that
I like bags. BAGS! Purses, pocket books, whatever you want to call them. I have
always been a “keep my wallet stuff in my pocket often without a wallet type of
lady. And when I do carry a purse it is because I need a convenient place to
put whatever book I happen to be reading, or my tablet, or sometimes even my
camera. But I could never justify wanting for myself a $400, $500 bag. I would
not mind spending that kind of money on a new computer some other fun
electronics item. But a bag doesn’t DO anything but hold stuff. They I went
purse shopping with a friend and officially fell in love with Michael Kors. I
specifically this blue one. I felt like a bag snob just looking at it. I think
that the snob comes out of us simply for being able to appreciate the art,
regardless of whether we are able to create it or afford it, for that matter.
“But Brittany,” you may ask, “how did you learn to be a snob of any kind while
living in poverty and squalor?” Well, I haven’t always been a vagabond selling
my thoughts to pay my rent. I used to have a liveable income that allowed me to
by $400 Bulgari sunglasses from the outlet mall for $10 because I was going to
Jamaica for the first time because sunglasses don’t DO $400 worth of stuff I
otherwise could not justify the purchase.
The
second thing that I learned about myself is that I really do give a hoot about
what celebrities are doing. And I don’t necessarily mean who’s cheating on who,
if Brangelina is going to adopt a Chilean baby or if the Kardashians’ butts are
actually getting bigger. I mean, I actually care about their endorsements. To
some extent, I guess. Even if it’s just to dream. Like “Ooh! Lil Kim (yes, I am
a fan) goes to Mykonos, Greece just to shop! Now I want to go to Mykonos. Paris
is just sooooo….. some other time that I couldn’t afford to go their either! My
latest celebrity fueled obsession, of course is this Ayurvedic dietary lifestyle.
I saw Dr. Oz on the front of Woman’s World and while I was not necessarily a
fan of the Doc, I knew that he was heavily endorsed by Oprah. And I’ve been a
fan of hers since Miss Sophia came home. So between Oprah’s endorsement and Dr.
Oz’s celebrity, I’m likely to believe everything he says. It doesn’t hurt that
the ayurvedic lifestyle that he promotes seems very low risk, high in benefits
and time proven. Oh, and before I forget, the third thing that I learned about
myself is that I will probably follow the Doc blindly until I forget about it
which is likely because I have the attention span of a four year old.
So going
back to my celebrity endorsement obsession fused ayurvedic kick. Rachael Ray
claims that she lost all of this weight taking a Garcinia Cambogia supplement.
Dr. Oz endorses it, so I bought some today. Despite the fact that Ms. Ray is a
chef and probably eats better than I, and probably has a personal trainer, I
still expect to get the exact same results. So today, at 5’5”, 150lbs, I have officially
added Garcinia Cambogia to my ayurvedic weight management plan. And if I don’t get
the same results as Rachael Ray, I am going to hunt her down and serve her
garlic crusted with a red wine reduction, or whatever she’s always talking
about! Haha, kidding, Miss Ray. You are not in danger of running afoul of my
dubious anger over things that I have already dubbed as having a good chance of
failing because of my own short comings. But they won’t, and I will fit nicely
into my faux leather H & M pants!
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